Ö as in Löve

Dear ö,

You are so cute. I love your innocent, astonished little face. When I see you in italics I imagine you singing in a choir, belting your little heart out. Sometimes when I see you in caps you look so frightened, I just want to hold you close and comfort you. I always thought of you as different from the others. Your sister ä is bipolar and has an attitude problem to boot; your brother ü has a self-satisfied smirk permanently plastered across his smarmy face, but you are as honest and pure as you are expressive. I think I have a crush on you.

However, these days I can't escape the fact that you don't feel for me the way I feel for you. Every time I need you, you're never there for me. I call your name but you are nowhere to be found; in your place a cheap, soulless replica.

I need you so bad. Without you, how could I say wunderschön, Löwe, Öffentlichkeitsarbeit? Oh ö, how I long to know the secret of your ways.

Yet you leave me all alone to tackle löschen, lösen, aufhören. You are deaf to my pleas, staring unblinkingly ahead.