Back to square one!! Anyone want to rent to a hard-working, book-reading, fridge-cleaning, VCR-rewinding, gin-drinking writer/insomniac/German enthusiast with excellently bad taste? Here I am.
Yep, it's official. I was just nicely asked to leave, to accommodate landlady's niece with boyfriend "drama." So much for putting down roots, so much for decorating, cleaning the fridge, acquiring household investment pieces, so much for picking out succulents. So much for the effort that went into looking for a home, the endless meeting of people and being nice, so much for moving my cheap folding furniture in a Radio Flyer wagon and having everyone honk at me. I'm back on the mean streets. So if you have a hot housing tip, let me know.
P.S. !!!***Act now and I will throw in some FREE espresso snobbery at no extra charge***!!! AMAZING OFFER WON'T LAST CALL NOW
...Or have I been reading too many Craigslist postings lately?
Showing posts with label pure pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pure pain. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Eviction waffles
Did I really type the words "now that I am on top of everything...?" Was that really yesterday? Well, I obviously was missing some information, such as:
Thing 1
My roommate's sister is having boyfriend drama, therefore I might get evicted. WHAT? Well, my roommate Essie's sister Ginny used to live in the room I currently rent. (She's the one who left the pile-o-shit in front of my entrance.) She moved out to live with her boyfriend. Things aren't going too well with the bf, so now she wants to move back in. Key piece of info: Essie and Ginny's aunt is our landlady. To make things worse, my stay in this room is made bearable only by the fact that the room is slated to receive a professional makeover this Friday. But now that I am on eviction standby, I have been advised not to make any changes to the room.
To complicate things further, I have friends coming into town from Washington, D.C. the weekend after scheduled room makeover. I was counting on having a nice, inviting place by then, but it looks like it's just going to stay the stinkhole room that it is, with the rank ashtray-smelling carpet laid over cement and the giant holes/stains gracing the walls.
Not to mention I just cleaned the fridge, swept, mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, made the windows see-through again, took the towels to the laund-o, scraped the caked-on food from the stove top and scrubbed the soap scum and rust from the shower. (I did all of this before school in the morning or after work at night.) Just trying to pitch in. What was the damn point in that then?
To make matters worse, I received this alarming information via text message as I was on my way to class and my battery was dying, so there was no way to call Essie and actually talk about it. I was intending to just speak to her at the house before work but then...
Thing 2
When I stopped off at work on the way home from school to get some coffee, I was informed that my coworker for the night (currently in Australia) didn't get his last shift covered. There was no one to work the shift with me. It was starting in an hour and I was working it...alone. What's worse, it wasn't just any shift which I might have been able to handle; it was Waffle Night, which is by far the most demanding and, in my opinion, needs three workers at least. I spent my free hour making calls from the work phone and trying to get someone to help me. I got a lot of "Ohh, I can do 7 to 9.30..." but no one would work the full shift with me at such short notice. Guess who filled in? My sister, Heather!
Thing 1
My roommate's sister is having boyfriend drama, therefore I might get evicted. WHAT? Well, my roommate Essie's sister Ginny used to live in the room I currently rent. (She's the one who left the pile-o-shit in front of my entrance.) She moved out to live with her boyfriend. Things aren't going too well with the bf, so now she wants to move back in. Key piece of info: Essie and Ginny's aunt is our landlady. To make things worse, my stay in this room is made bearable only by the fact that the room is slated to receive a professional makeover this Friday. But now that I am on eviction standby, I have been advised not to make any changes to the room.
To complicate things further, I have friends coming into town from Washington, D.C. the weekend after scheduled room makeover. I was counting on having a nice, inviting place by then, but it looks like it's just going to stay the stinkhole room that it is, with the rank ashtray-smelling carpet laid over cement and the giant holes/stains gracing the walls.
Not to mention I just cleaned the fridge, swept, mopped, vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, dusted, made the windows see-through again, took the towels to the laund-o, scraped the caked-on food from the stove top and scrubbed the soap scum and rust from the shower. (I did all of this before school in the morning or after work at night.) Just trying to pitch in. What was the damn point in that then?
To make matters worse, I received this alarming information via text message as I was on my way to class and my battery was dying, so there was no way to call Essie and actually talk about it. I was intending to just speak to her at the house before work but then...
Thing 2
When I stopped off at work on the way home from school to get some coffee, I was informed that my coworker for the night (currently in Australia) didn't get his last shift covered. There was no one to work the shift with me. It was starting in an hour and I was working it...alone. What's worse, it wasn't just any shift which I might have been able to handle; it was Waffle Night, which is by far the most demanding and, in my opinion, needs three workers at least. I spent my free hour making calls from the work phone and trying to get someone to help me. I got a lot of "Ohh, I can do 7 to 9.30..." but no one would work the full shift with me at such short notice. Guess who filled in? My sister, Heather!
Did I mention my sister just got hired at Linnaea's?? I mean literally just got hired days before? She had not done any training but since she and I have been working in coffee shops together since the dawn of time, we figured we would wing it, and we did.
By the way, usually trainees start by doing a half shift at a slow time, like Sunday afternoon, and someone takes them by the hand and guides them through everything and makes it nice for them, saying, "Now this is called 'espresso.'"
Well, that's not exactly the initiation Heather got. Linnaea's on Waffle Night is scary. However, we pulled through, served a million damn customized waffles, and were out of there before 1 a.m., which is better than the trained employees sometimes do.
There was no time for dinner that night and since my sister is allergic to wheat and couldn't even nibble on waffles, I felt awful and took her to Mexican afterwards.
So then it was after 1 a.m. when I got home, so no chance to have a chat with the roomies tonight re: looming threat of eviction. Tomorrow maybe, if I get a free moment. I am scheduled to work tomorrow with nobody again, so that will be an adventure.
Only sustaining thoughts:
- 5 more shifts until no more shift work. And no more food service. Ever. I LOVE Linnaea's but...
- San Louie liked my child leash article; Ashley said it was "genius" and she "couldn't be more honored" to print it in her magazine. That was nice.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Housing heartbreak
Oh God. I did not get into the Establishment. I can't handle the rejection! I am too sensitive! Shut up and go away, everyone. Actually that's rather preemptive- I haven't even told anyone yet because I'm not quite ready.
I tried to get in touch with my sister to talk about it but she exploded her laptop and flushed her phone down the toilet so I will have to wait until we bump into each other again.
Personal snub aside, the housing situation is getting really urgent. I had stopped looking because I was putting my energy into work, school and getting into the Establishment, but I really have to get my own place. I want nothing more than a room with a bed, where I can unpack my suitcase and sleep in the same place every night. Preferably non-moldy, non-infested and reasonably held together, which would set it apart from all other places I have afforded in this pricey town.
Oh San Luis, I love you but that doesn't mean I have to like you.
I tried to get in touch with my sister to talk about it but she exploded her laptop and flushed her phone down the toilet so I will have to wait until we bump into each other again.
Personal snub aside, the housing situation is getting really urgent. I had stopped looking because I was putting my energy into work, school and getting into the Establishment, but I really have to get my own place. I want nothing more than a room with a bed, where I can unpack my suitcase and sleep in the same place every night. Preferably non-moldy, non-infested and reasonably held together, which would set it apart from all other places I have afforded in this pricey town.
Oh San Luis, I love you but that doesn't mean I have to like you.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Heavy suitcase, heavier heart
 |
| A frowning rainbow of sadness. |
 |
| Current state of the suitcase |
Admittedly, Einführung in die Interkulturelle Wirtschaftskommunikation wasn't exactly pleasure reading, but it was a big part of my life and I spent a really long time trying to understand it, as you can see from my notes:
 |
| STREBER 1 |
 |
| STREBER 2 |
Two days until Berlin.
Seven until New York.
14 until San Francisco.
Would be happy if I were not an emotional disaster! There, I said it.
Once in Linnaea's a guy told me the coffee was "as black as my soul." Now I feel I can add that my suitcases are as heavy as my heart. Yack. I miss you already, M-dog.
 |
| (Es ist doch ein schönes Bild, bitte hasse mich nicht) |
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Separation anxiety
Oh GOD. Only two weeks left in Germany, starting today. I don't like this. I feel queasy. I can't even enjoy the moment because I am too busy eulogizing it already. Every moment for me is a snapshot in time which my brain is busy framing, categorizing, archiving and nostalgizing. (My brain is going, "Look, Anna, wasn't that a nice time you had in Germany? Those were the days.") Whatever I do now, I am not really doing it, I am "making a memory;" posing for my mental pictures.
This can't be right! I keep seeing acquaintances and going, "By the way, I'm moving back to the States soon. Good-bye, in case I never see you again!"
I only just bought my ticket to California yesterday (from NYC, where my program ends, not from Germany). I was putting it off for a long time. Now, it's time to think about packing, good-byes, catching flights, getting my job back at home and starting the Fall semester in boring old boyfriendless America.
I realized recently, with a sick start, that I have 12 days left with Micha. 12. I am leaving from Frankfurt on the 14th, a Wednesday, and am staying with Erich in Berlin for 2 days before that. So I have to say goodbye on the 12th, the Sunday after this one. Next Sunday!! Fuckkkk. Sick to stomach. Not liking this.
Okay, trying to think of something positive about the situation:
Author's note:
This can't be right! I keep seeing acquaintances and going, "By the way, I'm moving back to the States soon. Good-bye, in case I never see you again!"
I only just bought my ticket to California yesterday (from NYC, where my program ends, not from Germany). I was putting it off for a long time. Now, it's time to think about packing, good-byes, catching flights, getting my job back at home and starting the Fall semester in boring old boyfriendless America.
I realized recently, with a sick start, that I have 12 days left with Micha. 12. I am leaving from Frankfurt on the 14th, a Wednesday, and am staying with Erich in Berlin for 2 days before that. So I have to say goodbye on the 12th, the Sunday after this one. Next Sunday!! Fuckkkk. Sick to stomach. Not liking this.
Okay, trying to think of something positive about the situation:
- A week in NYC with Chris 'n' Rochelle on the way home
- Visiting Cooper in San Francisco on the way home
- Possibly seeing my Grandma in Big Sur on the way home (it's a long way)
- Mom, Dad, Brenda, Christopher, Ariel, Heather, Brownie, Pepper
- Riding my bike everywhere
- Going to the beach
- Linnaea's Cafe
- Actually making college progress and applying myself again
- Free water with ice cubes, free public bathrooms, bag boys, the dollar, no extremely cold temperatures, cell phone contract (no more pre-paid Quatsch)
- German will be my secret language. Perhaps will read Nietsche in public. Out loud.
Author's note:
- r. Quatsch (ugs): Nonsense, malarkey, bunk, balderdash and/or flim-flam.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Subhuman again
Current thoughts:
Is there anything about the situation I can change? Anything?
- Completely miserable sitting indoors, butt conforming to chair, feeling inhuman, hating life (not really, nobody freak out), and so forth.
- I don't think Microsoft Word and newsletter layouts are the best of friends.
- Never want to be an intern again. Have decided 'intern' is a ridiculous concept akin to slave and excuse to pay poorly or not at all.
Is there anything about the situation I can change? Anything?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Exquisitely Uncomfortable
Today I played reporter at Spirit of Football's street football tournament. I had actually been looking forward to this opportunity as a way to get out of the house and out of English, but the result today was simply awful. My loosely defined assignment was to interview the participants, aged 14-17, and the organizers of the event. The result, I am afraid, will be published on Spirit of Football's website and on Todo Aleman.
The interviewing itself wasn't so bad. Accompanied by a cameraman from the Thüringer Allgemeine, I had a few short conversations which, in hindsight, went all right. But then came the part when I had to talk directly to the camera, and that was when I choked.
The video clip was intended for the Goethe Institute's trilingual youth-oriented website Todo Aleman, and I needed to film a short opening scene in which I introduced the event, mentioning Todo Aleman as partial sponsors. But somehow, I couldn't get any words out.
The camera man said, "Rolling."
I stared into the camera.
The camera man: "Rolling."
"Ladies and gentlemen, football fans, our friends at Todo Aleman, welcome to this year's first Spirit of Football street football tournament! I'm Anna, reporting live from Nordpark in Erfurt and...um..."
(Long pause.)
The camera man: "Rolling."
"...and we have nice weather....(long pause) okay I really don't know what else to say. Can I do it again?"
Camera man: "All right, that was good. This time finish your sentence."
Me: "Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends at Todo Aleman, dear football fans and sports enthusiasts, welcome to this year's first Spirit of Football street football tournament! I'm Anna, reporting live from Nordpark in Erfurt, where 5 teams (here I struggled with the plural of "team" in German) have gathered to um...play football and um...yeah! Enjoy!"
Ugh. Terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad. I started well, but, as often happens to me, couldn't find a graceful way to land the plane, instead defaulting to the crash and burn method.
I am, in a sick way, almost proud of my awful performance.
The interviewing itself wasn't so bad. Accompanied by a cameraman from the Thüringer Allgemeine, I had a few short conversations which, in hindsight, went all right. But then came the part when I had to talk directly to the camera, and that was when I choked.
The video clip was intended for the Goethe Institute's trilingual youth-oriented website Todo Aleman, and I needed to film a short opening scene in which I introduced the event, mentioning Todo Aleman as partial sponsors. But somehow, I couldn't get any words out.
The camera man said, "Rolling."
I stared into the camera.
The camera man: "Rolling."
"Ladies and gentlemen, football fans, our friends at Todo Aleman, welcome to this year's first Spirit of Football street football tournament! I'm Anna, reporting live from Nordpark in Erfurt and...um..."
(Long pause.)
The camera man: "Rolling."
"...and we have nice weather....(long pause) okay I really don't know what else to say. Can I do it again?"
Camera man: "All right, that was good. This time finish your sentence."
Me: "Ladies and gentlemen, dear friends at Todo Aleman, dear football fans and sports enthusiasts, welcome to this year's first Spirit of Football street football tournament! I'm Anna, reporting live from Nordpark in Erfurt, where 5 teams (here I struggled with the plural of "team" in German) have gathered to um...play football and um...yeah! Enjoy!"
Ugh. Terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad. I started well, but, as often happens to me, couldn't find a graceful way to land the plane, instead defaulting to the crash and burn method.
I am, in a sick way, almost proud of my awful performance.
Not here, not now
The lethargy and sense of despairing pointlessness I have recently been experiencing came to a head today. In my internship I am neither earning money, nor am I receiving a grade, nor am I improving my German by writing all day in English. The work I do goes in the same category as the work I don't do: unnoticed.
With this view, it has been difficult to get myself to do any work at all. I do the work of course, but my heart is not in it. At the end of the day I am so introverted and full of English, I can hardly get myself to get out and socialize in German at all. I no longer feel like doing the things I used to do. When I do pry myself out of my dark cave, I am like a mole blinking in the sunlight, unable to navigate, blundering around blindly. Social situations have become comically, predictably awkward. When I engage in conversation, something seems to be terribly off, as if I am an actor reading from the wrong script. What can I say? Working alone in silence every day turns me weird.
I heave a great emotional sigh whenever someone asks where I'm from. I don't want to talk about it anymore. And if one more person tells me how amazing my German is, I am going to personally tear my own head off and eat it. Sometimes people tell me how good it is without me even having to mention that I am not from Germany! Something about that doesn't add up.
I don't really know what I'm doing in Erfurt anymore. I want a real job so bad it hurts, but I can't make that a reality here. I want more than anything to work for a magazine. (I am hilariously bad at most things, but writing is not one of them.) But when and where do I get to use my talent? Not now, not here.
With this view, it has been difficult to get myself to do any work at all. I do the work of course, but my heart is not in it. At the end of the day I am so introverted and full of English, I can hardly get myself to get out and socialize in German at all. I no longer feel like doing the things I used to do. When I do pry myself out of my dark cave, I am like a mole blinking in the sunlight, unable to navigate, blundering around blindly. Social situations have become comically, predictably awkward. When I engage in conversation, something seems to be terribly off, as if I am an actor reading from the wrong script. What can I say? Working alone in silence every day turns me weird.
I heave a great emotional sigh whenever someone asks where I'm from. I don't want to talk about it anymore. And if one more person tells me how amazing my German is, I am going to personally tear my own head off and eat it. Sometimes people tell me how good it is without me even having to mention that I am not from Germany! Something about that doesn't add up.
I don't really know what I'm doing in Erfurt anymore. I want a real job so bad it hurts, but I can't make that a reality here. I want more than anything to work for a magazine. (I am hilariously bad at most things, but writing is not one of them.) But when and where do I get to use my talent? Not now, not here.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Reasons to be grumpy
- Working alone, turning into subhuman
- Rear end same shape as chair
- Sneezed on self
- Micha not going to Fränze's WG-party
- Turning into subhuman
- Roommate keeps talking to me in English in weird sort of power trip.
- Getting made fun of all the time re: the letter r.
...it's not the end of the world.
Don't know why I have been so down today. I just spent a great weekend with Erich (sunshine, dancing, ice cream). I must have used up all of my serotonin. But working again is suddenly pure pain! I want to be with a human.
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